Two years ago

It was two years ago that Scott and I found out that we would be blessed with two babies.  Today a coworker told me that she is 13 weeks along with twins.  I could not be more happy for her.  I told her about this wierd "sorority" of mothers of twins.  There aren't many of us, but we sure understand each other.  At my school there are 5 moms of twins, with one on the way.  It's nice to have someone to talk to someone who can empathize! 
The news of her pregnancy instantly brought me back to my first feelings about being a mother of twins.  I came back to my blog and I looked at some of my first posts.  I remember being so happy and so nervous at the same time.  If I had to it again, I wouldn't change a thing. 
When I was pregnant I kept hearing songs that really just spoke to me.   One in particular, by Darius Rucker, felt like it was written for me.  The song, "This", is about the journey one takes and how every decision we make in life has led us to the exact point where we are.  While I understand that this song is about his life and likely his life with his wife, it speaks to me about my struggles getting pregnant and why every time I didn't get pregnant is the reason why my two angels are with me now.  If I had gotten pregnant years ago, I certainly wouldn't have had the need for IVF, and thus TJ and Matthew wouldn't be here today, making me laugh, smile, and cry with joy every day.  So this song is for all of my boys, Scott, TJ, Matthew, and Roger.  Here are some of my favorite lines from this song.



My Life, My Loves

 I don't really know how I got here
But I'm sure glad that I did
And it's crazy to think that one little thing
Could've changed all of it
All the fights and the tears and the heartache
I thought I'd never get through
And the moment I almost gave up
All lead me here to you

I didn't understand it way back when
But sitting here right now, it all makes perfect sense

For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the girls that broke my heart

All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn't know
Thank God for all I missed
'Cause it led me here to this