The present time is 9pm on April 19, 2011. I am officially less than 12 hours from holding my boys in my arms......I can't believe it. It feels like a lifetime since we started this journey and for me it truly has been a lifetime of wanting to be a parent.
As a little kid I was the oldest girl amongst all of my cousins. We grew up playing make believe all the time and in each scenario I either wanted to be the Mommy or the teacher.....these are the only two roles I have ever wanted in my life. I have been teaching for 15 years now........I have been waiting since I was a little girl to be a Mommy. 37 years is a long time to wait for a dream to come true, and now my dream is about to be a reality, times two. It is so amazing!!!
I am sure that tomorrow is going to be a crazy day...the pain of a c-section, the emotion of getting to this point, holding Matthew and T.J. for the first time....I think I'm goingto be a mess....but that's ok. I can't wait to show these boys off to the world.
Scott and I keep getting asked..."Are you ready?" and the answer is, without a doubt, "YES!!". While we will have to work through the kinks, and we are surely not ready for sleep deprivation, we are ready to be parents. I believe that it is going to be difficult, but at the end of the day, we have everything we need to be good parents: we love each other, we love our boys, we have a supportive family, and we have diapers and formula....other than that....we'll get through it! We have been counting down to April 20th for 37 weeks now...
I am still shocked that these boys did not make their appearance earlier. I really thought they would be here by now. I am thrilled that I have been able to keep them almost 38 weeks.....who knows how long they would stay if they were actually given the chance. But, we're not going to find out...they WILL be here tomorrow morning, by nine if everything goes according to plan.
For the past few days everything has been about the "last time" before we're parents....We went to the movies on Sunday, last night was Roger's last night here (he went to Scott's parents this morning for a few days), tonight we went out for our last meal as non-parents....its so funny....I can't wait to begin the "first times"....first night with our children, first diaper change - that's all you Daddy, first cries, first smiles, etc. Our lives are going to change considerably in 12 hours......and it is going to be amazing....although when I am sleep deprived and crazy I may need a reminder!!
Well, I guess the next time I update I will have pictures of my boys...
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Family Matters
As we come to the end of this chapter in the book of our lives, I think it is important to look back a reflect on some things....
The most important thing is to recognize the importance of our families on this road to parenthood. There is no way we could have gotten this far without the love and support of our family members...We know that tons of prayers have been said for us along the way.
Scott and I have been married for a little over 4 years now and after about the 2nd year, people must have realized that we were having trouble getting pregnant because, for the most part, the questions stopped, which took a lot of pressure off of us... We knew that people were concerned and cared, but being as though we are both pretty private people, it felt good to not explain ourselves to anyone. Then we told family that we were going to start fertility treatments and we could feel the support and prayers from those that we love. From there, we gained strength to move forward with our decisions.
My sister-in-law has been simply amazing throughout this ordeal....while we both HATE to talk on the phone, she has been great about sending me inspirational cards and letters, all of which I have kept and collected in my scrapbook....I want these boys to know how amazing Aunt Alli is and how much they are loved. She has been like a sister to me and is always sending out positive vibes!! Her kind words have continued to lift my spirits. I can't wait for T.J. and Matthew to be in her arms, because I know she is going to shower them with love.
My brother is a little different...he is more of the "get over it" type of guy. If something is broken...fix it....there is no room for tears, suck it up and move forward. Sometimes, while this seems harsh, it was what I needed to hear...even if it made me mad! His philosophy was more like, there is something wrong with you? Ok, go to the doctor, get it fixed, and have some kids....it will all work out! He was right. He is probably the only person in my life that can get away with talking to me like that....he has always been that way and it is how we handle things...I know he is BEYOND excited to become an uncle and he is going to be a great one....hopefully he will push my boys the way he pushed me, because I think it is so important to have someone in your life that will push you out of your own pity party.
Scott's family has been great too! They are not as verbal as my family...they keep things to themselves quite a bit, especially Scott's dad, but they have been incredible in their unwavering support of everything we do. I know his grandmothers, aunts, and cousins have been praying for us non-stop and couldn't be more excited. Scott's mother has been busy planning meals for us and is even cooking Easter dinner for us since we will be coming home from the hospital that morning (hopefully). Since it is the boys first holiday, I did want our families to come over, but obviously I will not be cooking. Myra has taken charge of this and as usual, will prepare a delicious meal for us to share and celebrate. It is such a relief to not have to worry about the little things, knowing that someone you trust and love is going to handle it.
Finally, my parents.....there is no way we would be having two boys tomorrow if it wasn't for them.....Besides helping us to finance the fertility treatments, my mother has come to so many of my doctor appointments, learned to give me my fertility shots in the event that I couldn't do them, has been there for every step of this process, taking notes, asking questions, and keeping me sane. My dad's role has been more of the fix-up guy. He has done so much work around my house to get it ready for the boys....it has been so awesome. Their help has not gone unnoticed....I am forever appreciative of them and all that they have given and sacrificed for us to get to this point!!!
Only one more day until the entire family gets to meet our newest additions!!!!
The most important thing is to recognize the importance of our families on this road to parenthood. There is no way we could have gotten this far without the love and support of our family members...We know that tons of prayers have been said for us along the way.
Scott and I have been married for a little over 4 years now and after about the 2nd year, people must have realized that we were having trouble getting pregnant because, for the most part, the questions stopped, which took a lot of pressure off of us... We knew that people were concerned and cared, but being as though we are both pretty private people, it felt good to not explain ourselves to anyone. Then we told family that we were going to start fertility treatments and we could feel the support and prayers from those that we love. From there, we gained strength to move forward with our decisions.
My sister-in-law has been simply amazing throughout this ordeal....while we both HATE to talk on the phone, she has been great about sending me inspirational cards and letters, all of which I have kept and collected in my scrapbook....I want these boys to know how amazing Aunt Alli is and how much they are loved. She has been like a sister to me and is always sending out positive vibes!! Her kind words have continued to lift my spirits. I can't wait for T.J. and Matthew to be in her arms, because I know she is going to shower them with love.
My brother is a little different...he is more of the "get over it" type of guy. If something is broken...fix it....there is no room for tears, suck it up and move forward. Sometimes, while this seems harsh, it was what I needed to hear...even if it made me mad! His philosophy was more like, there is something wrong with you? Ok, go to the doctor, get it fixed, and have some kids....it will all work out! He was right. He is probably the only person in my life that can get away with talking to me like that....he has always been that way and it is how we handle things...I know he is BEYOND excited to become an uncle and he is going to be a great one....hopefully he will push my boys the way he pushed me, because I think it is so important to have someone in your life that will push you out of your own pity party.
Scott's family has been great too! They are not as verbal as my family...they keep things to themselves quite a bit, especially Scott's dad, but they have been incredible in their unwavering support of everything we do. I know his grandmothers, aunts, and cousins have been praying for us non-stop and couldn't be more excited. Scott's mother has been busy planning meals for us and is even cooking Easter dinner for us since we will be coming home from the hospital that morning (hopefully). Since it is the boys first holiday, I did want our families to come over, but obviously I will not be cooking. Myra has taken charge of this and as usual, will prepare a delicious meal for us to share and celebrate. It is such a relief to not have to worry about the little things, knowing that someone you trust and love is going to handle it.
Finally, my parents.....there is no way we would be having two boys tomorrow if it wasn't for them.....Besides helping us to finance the fertility treatments, my mother has come to so many of my doctor appointments, learned to give me my fertility shots in the event that I couldn't do them, has been there for every step of this process, taking notes, asking questions, and keeping me sane. My dad's role has been more of the fix-up guy. He has done so much work around my house to get it ready for the boys....it has been so awesome. Their help has not gone unnoticed....I am forever appreciative of them and all that they have given and sacrificed for us to get to this point!!!
Only one more day until the entire family gets to meet our newest additions!!!!
The Pro's and Con's of Pregnancy
Pro’s
v People are incredibly nice and considerate
v Special parking spots
v It is OK to take as many naps as you want
v Being fat has not been this acceptable since you were 3 years old
v With every stretch mark you get, you know it is allowing your babies to get bigger
v The first “flutter” you feel
v You are the center of attention (for now)
v Comfy clothes
v You get to wear flip-flops to work even though it’s not dress code
v No carrying heavy items – laundry, groceries, etc
v Feeling the movement of your children and knowing that the more they move, the stronger they get
Con’s
v Not being able to sleep at night
v Swollen feet
v Stretch marks
v The sense of nervousness that can only be relieved when you hear the heartbeats of your children
v Did I mention stretch marks?
v Inability to put shoes and socks on without assistance
v Clumsiness
v Moving much slower than in the past
v Growing out of all of your maternity clothes (the joy of twins!)
v Not being able to get comfortable, not matter how you sit, stand, or lay down
v Keeping the secret from friends and family for a few months until the end of the first trimester
v Getting kicked in the ribs by two active boys
After 37 weeks and 5 days of pregnancy I can honestly say that I think I am going to miss all of this....I won't miss the discomfort, but just being pregnant. I love knowing that I am in control of these little guys right now and that I am responsible for their well-being. In less than 24 hours all of that will change.....I have the entire world to contend with. They will not always be safe, they can get sick or hurt, and I can't prevent it. I have, until the last 2 weeks or so, enjoyed every second of this true miracle.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
36 Weeks and 5 days.....
Yesterday was our final appointment with the Perinatal Specialist...Dr. Allen is awesome and just like when we left Dr. Hasty at ARMC, we walked out of our appointment a little sad...as if we just broke up with our doctor. Dr. Allen, the perinatal specialist has been my doctor there since September and he has been amazing and so informative. We're going to miss them, but it also feels as if we are "graduating".
When we started this crazy journey and found out we were having twins, we were told that this was a high risk pregnancy due to my age, the IVF factor, and the twin thing. The doctors told us that I could go on bedrest as early as January, that the babies could also come very early. All along the pessimistic side of us planned for the worst. I tried to have everything at work done by February 1st. We had the nursery done in February, so we have been ready for quite a while now. As I enter my 37th week tomorrow, I am amazed at how long I have lasted and how resilient these boys are. I seriously thought they would come early. We have just been praying that they would be at least 5 1/2 lbs at birth so that they are not so small....
With each appointment at the specialist we have received approximate weights on the boys. All along Scott and I have thought they were bigger than average, even if just by a few ounces. Two appointments ago the doctors finally admitted that they were a little bigger than average, which made us happy. Knowing that the boys will be earlier than the actual May 6th due date, Scott and I were hoping for the 5 1/2 lb mark by the delivery date of April 20th. At our appointment a month ago the boys were 4lb 12oz (TJ) and 4lb 15oz (Matthew). In all of the literature I have read, it says that twin weight gain naturally slows down in the final month or so in order to have room to move. With that said, we did not expect to hear what we heard yesterday.....
Final Stats....
TJ: 7 lb 4 oz
Matthew : 7 lb 5oz
Of course there is always room for error as the measurements cannot be exact, but even if they are off by a pound, that still puts these boys into the 6 pound mark and that makes this Mom and Dad sleep a whole lot easier. It will be interesting to see what they really weigh and how tall each boy is.
Also, somehow...and I'm not sure how it was possible, other than he must be academically gifted, but Matthew corrected his breech position and the boys heads are both down and they are head to head...in perfect position. I have no idea how this kid maneuvered himself down because he was in breech position for well over a month and trust me when I tell you there is NO ROOM for movement....as I have been telling Scott all along...I think Matthew will be the sneaky one....when he does stuff, it will be monumental. LOL. Only time will tell. For now, they are in the right position, weight is great, they are snuggling with each other, (although it looked as if they were kicking each other on the monitor yesterday) and they are just getting stronger with each day. Less than a week to go..only 6 more nights!!!!!
When we started this crazy journey and found out we were having twins, we were told that this was a high risk pregnancy due to my age, the IVF factor, and the twin thing. The doctors told us that I could go on bedrest as early as January, that the babies could also come very early. All along the pessimistic side of us planned for the worst. I tried to have everything at work done by February 1st. We had the nursery done in February, so we have been ready for quite a while now. As I enter my 37th week tomorrow, I am amazed at how long I have lasted and how resilient these boys are. I seriously thought they would come early. We have just been praying that they would be at least 5 1/2 lbs at birth so that they are not so small....
With each appointment at the specialist we have received approximate weights on the boys. All along Scott and I have thought they were bigger than average, even if just by a few ounces. Two appointments ago the doctors finally admitted that they were a little bigger than average, which made us happy. Knowing that the boys will be earlier than the actual May 6th due date, Scott and I were hoping for the 5 1/2 lb mark by the delivery date of April 20th. At our appointment a month ago the boys were 4lb 12oz (TJ) and 4lb 15oz (Matthew). In all of the literature I have read, it says that twin weight gain naturally slows down in the final month or so in order to have room to move. With that said, we did not expect to hear what we heard yesterday.....
Final Stats....
TJ: 7 lb 4 oz
Matthew : 7 lb 5oz
Of course there is always room for error as the measurements cannot be exact, but even if they are off by a pound, that still puts these boys into the 6 pound mark and that makes this Mom and Dad sleep a whole lot easier. It will be interesting to see what they really weigh and how tall each boy is.
Also, somehow...and I'm not sure how it was possible, other than he must be academically gifted, but Matthew corrected his breech position and the boys heads are both down and they are head to head...in perfect position. I have no idea how this kid maneuvered himself down because he was in breech position for well over a month and trust me when I tell you there is NO ROOM for movement....as I have been telling Scott all along...I think Matthew will be the sneaky one....when he does stuff, it will be monumental. LOL. Only time will tell. For now, they are in the right position, weight is great, they are snuggling with each other, (although it looked as if they were kicking each other on the monitor yesterday) and they are just getting stronger with each day. Less than a week to go..only 6 more nights!!!!!
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| 36 WEEKS....This is my sister-in-law's maternity top/dress. She was able to wear it with tights...not so much for me! |
Shower...yes...another one!
OK...so I wrote this several weeks ago and I guess I never posted it!!! My brain isn't quite what it used to be. lol
Two weekends ago, our friends and family joined us for a couples shower. Amanda and Shawn, along with Richard, my mom, and Scott’s mom, put together a beautiful shower for us. We saw friends that we haven’t seen in months and it was good to have one last evening before our lives are forever changed.
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| Yummy! |
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| My mother-in-law and my mom. |
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| Scotty and Big Girl.....looking slim here! |
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| Only 33 Weeks Pregnant...technically 7 weeks from my May 6th due date LOL. |
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| Amanda, my dear friend and gracious host! |
We had a blast and couldn’t have been happier with the turnout. As I said to the ladies before opening gifts, everyone in that room is so special to us. They have stood beside us and supported us during this long process of getting pregnant until now. We can’t wait to be able to introduce T.J. and Matthew to everyone. Scott and I feel so blessed and loved.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
READY!!!
So at this point in the pregnancy I am pretty uncomfortable...no shock there. I am trying my best not to complain....and I think I'm doing a pretty good job, although apparently one of my previous blogs I must have complained a bit too much. My swelling has decreased...likely due to not walking around an enormous high school for 10 hours a day! My fatigue level is not as bad...again, now that I am not working and I can just sit with Roger on the couch and read, I am feeling much more relaxed. I am however so stinking uncomfortable. I am very uneasy driving now.....mainly since my belly is about an inch from the steering wheel and that is wih me reclined as far as possible with still being able to grab the wheel and press the gas! Luckily my amazing mother has been there to act as my personal driver, cart pusher, gardener, dry cleaner, etc.
Everyone we talk to asks us if we are ready for the babies......that's a pretty tough question to answer....Do we have everything we need?....sure do...Is the nusery ready?....yep. Bags packed?...yep...Car seats installed? ....yep. Physically I think we have everything ready....But to ask if we are ready....Scott's favorite answer is "I'm not sure". We have our ideas of what to expect, but since we have never been through this, who knows. Obviously we feel that we will be prepared to be parents, but until you are thrown into the ring, I don't think you're really ready.
Are we anxious?? Of course! Every night I go to sleep and wonder if this is the last night that it will just be the two of us. We know our lives will be changed in an instant and we are very ready for that...been ready for years. We are so excited to meet these two little men and see what they look like and how they act.
What are we anxious about? I for one am nervous about the delivery...I'm not too good with surgery and I have had only minor procedures in the past...this is kind of major! Not so sure how I will react to the pain and the meds. I am anxious about sleep....I am someone that needs a lot of sleep....my brain does not function without sleep....I never could pull an all-nighter to study in college...just wouldn't work! I am nervous about the health and well-being of these boys. I am sure everything will be ok...but you never can be sure. But...only 2 weeks from today and the boys will be here......or sooner.....if they want....Scott does not want them to arrive any earlier than planned...shocking that he doesn't want to be surprised...On the other hand, if they came next week I wouldn't complain...I am ready and I would love a surprise! I guess only time will tell. 14 more days!
Everyone we talk to asks us if we are ready for the babies......that's a pretty tough question to answer....Do we have everything we need?....sure do...Is the nusery ready?....yep. Bags packed?...yep...Car seats installed? ....yep. Physically I think we have everything ready....But to ask if we are ready....Scott's favorite answer is "I'm not sure". We have our ideas of what to expect, but since we have never been through this, who knows. Obviously we feel that we will be prepared to be parents, but until you are thrown into the ring, I don't think you're really ready.
Are we anxious?? Of course! Every night I go to sleep and wonder if this is the last night that it will just be the two of us. We know our lives will be changed in an instant and we are very ready for that...been ready for years. We are so excited to meet these two little men and see what they look like and how they act.
What are we anxious about? I for one am nervous about the delivery...I'm not too good with surgery and I have had only minor procedures in the past...this is kind of major! Not so sure how I will react to the pain and the meds. I am anxious about sleep....I am someone that needs a lot of sleep....my brain does not function without sleep....I never could pull an all-nighter to study in college...just wouldn't work! I am nervous about the health and well-being of these boys. I am sure everything will be ok...but you never can be sure. But...only 2 weeks from today and the boys will be here......or sooner.....if they want....Scott does not want them to arrive any earlier than planned...shocking that he doesn't want to be surprised...On the other hand, if they came next week I wouldn't complain...I am ready and I would love a surprise! I guess only time will tell. 14 more days!
35 Weeks..only a few more to go
Last week Scott and I went to what we thought would be our last visit with the Perinatal Specialist. We figured we would find out how big these boys are and be released to our regular doctor. Not the case! Apparently the doctor we had at our previous appointment told us to come back in 2 weeks (which we did), but it was too soon to tell if there were any updates. We are rescheduled for a few days before the boys are scheduled to arrive....that is if I make it that long. So, no new news on the approximate size. But, looking at the size of me, one would have to think that these boys are huge.....I look like I am carrying two toddlers!
I am officially done with work until late July when I return for the start of next school year. I am so glad that I was able to last as long as I did. Thankfully my students were great and understood what I was going through and didn't mind that I taught American Government from my chair. The kids were all starting to get grossed out by the size of my swollen feet and I think the administration was afraid that I would go into labor any day! The timing of these babies is great. I am on Spring Break this week and then I just take off next week and then they should be here. I am basically only missing 7 days before they arrive. Not too bad!
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| 35 Weeks and living large |
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